Clothing and Personal Style- perfecting the nonverbal mode of communication
Tammy Parrish, founder of The Clothing Compass is a personal stylist and personal shopper. She works online with ambitious professionals to match their outside to their inside. Tammy is committed to showing her clients how to build a sustainable wardrobe. She loves shopping secondhand via the Clothing Subscription.
Tammy shares with our readers the importance of expressing ones own style through clothing e- the non verbal mode for a woman to reflect her true inner self
Tammy, as someone who helps women truly project their self-image how do you relate to what Iris Apfel said – “Fashion you can buy, but style you possess. The key to style is learning who you are, which takes years. There’s no how-to road map to style. It’s about self-expression and, above all, attitude.”
I do think that style is the physical expression of who you are from within. That said, not everyone feels naturally connected to their style. It’s been my experience that those who DO want to learn how to express themselves through style, can learn. That makes my job so fun. I tease out what someone’s style is, based on their values, their personality, their goals, likes and dislikes. It feels like creating a magic self-confidence potion.
Share with us what prompted you to get into the business of making women feel confident through upping their style of dressing.
Clothing is nonverbal communication. We don’t need to speak the same language to communicate visually. Getting dressed is something so basic and simple. We’re affecting decisions every day based on how we show up physically. That’s exciting to me. And on a very basic level —experiencing and creating beautiful things, and supporting others in doing the same — brings me joy.
In your years of working, what have you identified as the biggest block a woman faces when asked to change her personal style, dressing /wardrobe?
The biggest block is undoubtedly all of the nonsense she’s been told by others. “You can’t do this; you must do that; your ______ is too _______ to wear that.”
Many women especially in Netherlands prefer dressing down- do you see that as a sign of lack in confidence, avoiding the spotlight and trying to blend in Or ?
I think dressing down has its place. For example, in the Netherlands it’s the norm to dress down. Dutch society is still very egalitarian and there are lots of benefits to fitting in and creating harmony. Not to mention, in the Netherlands we’re biking in the rain. That requires practical clothing and makeup.
The problem comes with the ‘beauty vs. brains’ comparison. That argument goes something like, “We women have come too far to spend time and energy on our appearance. If you spend time on your appearance, you’re covering up a lack of knowledge or intelligence. And you’re playing into what (cis-het) men want — to keep women in a submissive role.”
I work with women who know that their visual communication is valuable currency. They control the narrative. They spend energy on their appearance because it makes them feel good. And if they can influence others in the process, that’s just smart!
Your views on- Dressing in what makes one feel comfortable, or as the present day fashion trends/style demands.
My theory on dressing comfortably is that “comfortable” should mean “familiar” and not “anything goes”. How we dress affects our mindset, posture, word choice and behavior. Dress with respect for yourself and others — show that you made an effort for those meetings that matter. As for fashion, I dislike the word. I believe in developing one’s personal style, in creating your signature look . That can be adapted based on what’s IN style, but it frees you from following trends.
What do you have to say to people who consider image make-over, wardrobe consultation- frivolous?
Not much! :) I will not try and convince them to think otherwise. How important is the first impression a woman makes as she walks in through that door?
How important is the first impression a woman makes as she walks in through that door?
Our subconscious (primal) brains judge each other instantly based on how we look. Science proves that our rational (conscious) brain cannot make a decision without first being influenced by the subconscious brain. No one likes that, but it’s nature. Looks matter, especially first impressions. A 2015 Harvard study shows that it typically takes eight positive encounters to change one negative impression.
In a scale of 1-5 where 1 is not important at all & 5 an absolute must rate the following as part of a woman’s physical appearance/image when at work.
Oh, I find myself wanting to add a disclaimer next to so many of these! It definitely depends on what one does for work. I answered these with a mid-level manager or higher position in a traditional office job in mind.
- Very well fitted Lingerie 4
- Manicured or at least clean, short fingernails. (May or may not be painted) 5
- Footwear 4
- Hair washed & set neatly, roots touched-up if dyed to cover greys. It should be clean. Otherwise, hairstyle is very dependent on the type of hair you have and the culture you identify with. Re: greys, let them show if you’re comfortable with that!
- Light make-up 5
- Perfume 1
How important are the following in the wardrobe? Very, Nor Very, Good to have
- A pair of formal black trousers. Good to have
- A formal blazer. Very
- That classical black dress. Good to have
- Red ( or any other bright colour) lipstick. Good to have
- A designer handbag. Not very
- A few stand out accessories- jewellery, scarves etc Very
To learn more about developing your personal style , visit Tammy Parish at- www.clothingcompass.com/services
Follow her on LinkedIn to debate and discuss topics she is passionate about going beyond fashion and clothing.
